partial to disaster i should laugh at you
but i dont cause i want to save you
ive already tied my hands with your bestest
my bad
she shouldnt treat you that way
but you cant say no one didnt tell you so
upside of anger is i know youll come back with a vengeance
i cant wait 
id like to separate myself into two
id like my left half to fear nothing
id like my right half to work constantly
id like them to meet on tuesdays for a collective understanding as to who i am
my left half will fall in love the way it wants to
my right half will hold my heart down
my right will understand right from wrong
my left will take any chance it must
my right will fear for the left
and my left will love my right for it
i cant deal. i cant write. do i have to be mizzin it to come up with some weird sad motive driven idea that changes the world and how people view their own lives. wtf?? can i be happy and write ill music? yes. but poetry. maybe i never wrote ill poetry to begin with and i have nothing to worry about. i almost sensed something witty to say as i looked in the mirror and parted my hair. nothing. so nevermind. ok wait ive narrowed it down. let me see. i can either be happy and only write ok music and suck at poetry or i can be miz and write the best music thats ever come out my ass and still suck at poetry. looks like another lonely year for me.
told you not not to bother.
red dress. red toy.
white smile. black boy.
too late? i say
stand here. just wait.
no lie. i wish
i hope. i play.
no rules? none here.
just words i say.
reprieve is near.
not yet. not here.
can do? i wont
stand here alone.
as i revolve around every aspect of what we ever were
every moment i surrendered and every moment i let go
every awkward conversation a thousand first date topics that make me grin to this day
in everything that you are i believe the best in you
tainted by your selfish desire to own two
i no longer identify with who you are but what i hope you are
therefore dont coy me with your words of regret
thirsty i cannot quench your thirst
you are lost and i will miss you
you are gone and i will pray for you
if you need i will be there promise is a promise but because you are dishonest
with even yourself there are some things i cannot change
you must lay those cares upon someone else
and take care of yourself
You dont belong to me. Baby, me too. I dont belong to you.
i started drinking around 8 830. its now 1133 and my solo dolo shindig has moved itself to sunnyside. i cant even look purity in the face. he knows me and i find it unfair and offensive. im uncomfortable and promptly wish to leave the chair which sits directly under the dimmed lightbulb as if placed for interrogation. if not for my shamelessness i would be overwhelmed by guilt at the fact that im so self aware and disconnected having no strategy on solving this immoveable weight that clouds over my chest. too much of my past has swept over me like a 24 hour virus and im crippled until it has passed on its own. by 12 30 i will have broken down and crumbled. by 12 30 tomorrow i will have thanked the lord for the given day and god willing blessed others until my next blackout.
overturned and stomach churned the new motive is no longer
to accessorize or even fantasize about what i can grab with both hands.
it isnt to stuff my face with desireables i am no longer able to deal with myself
if i have to quench my thirst which is insatiable i have written on my agenda
posted it on my wall so i can remember. ive set an alarm on my phone
i have put it in my daily prayers. im open to change i swear it. first, i have to
clean my room.
close is too close for the self aware and selfish.
such as myself, unattainable and self centered im off target with my own motives.
and my motions move faster than the dickens.
i hoard my thoughts and my words are coarse.
i know this.
slogans can sell till you walk in and smell the place. you wouldnt catch me dead walking into burger king ordering a whopper. no. in fact, you can bet your 401k that i wont be sleeping with the enemy anytime soon. my heart belongs to the crave mostly because its the only 24 hour spot and has tarter sauce in nifty little white packages. micky can get it too, but whenever i get committed, he locks me down and i gain an extra ten. dbag.
